The Dating Chronicles of Cheré (Ch.8): No Hablo Inglés

When I say I date a range of men, I mean a broad range of men. I don't discriminate and I try not to judge. But sometimes, I just want to give up. One thing I have learned about dating different people from different walks of life is that all races are really similar in some way. When I date outside of my race, I rarely find any major differences other than some cultural differences between the guys.

With that being said, I now have found that I have to set some major guidelines for who I'm willing to date in or out of my race because foolishness can occur in any race. Today you will learn a little secret about me. I love salsa dancing. It has become a hobby for me, and I frequent various salsa and Latin clubs (there is a difference).

In going dancing frequently, I tend to meet several interesting characters and an occasional cool person. In the story of "No Hablo Inglés," I went to a Latin club on this particular night to just chill and dance a little. The night started out okay. I sat at the bar, ordered a drink, and just watched a few people dance. This is when a young Latin guy approached me. He asked how I was doing and if I was married or in a relationship. I replied "no". He then sat next to me and we spoke for a second, but the music was loud so I couldn't hear him clearly.

After we spoke for a while, some random dude literally came and sat between us and starting talking to me. Didn't you see me talking to someone else or are you really going to ignore the dude that is right behind you. Well, I quickly realized that the guy who sat between us was very, very, very, very, very, very drunk....very. Though drunk, he somehow found it appropriate to follow me around the club for 30 minutes. Why me? It could be my undeniable beauty or my wonderful personality that draws these men to me. (I like myself. What can I say?!).

Finally, the guy got ready to leave the club, but not before he felt that it was appropriate to kiss me on my cheek and forehead. I really didn't want drunken, stinky, spit on my face but why should I expect anything less at this point. After his passionate forehead kiss and dreamy/drunken eye stare at me, he left. THANK GOD.

I thought things would be fine from that point. I began to speak to my Latin friend again, but now a friend of his joined us. His friend coerced him into dancing with me even though he couldn't dance, so I was highly disappointed. I was disappointed because he couldn't dance. I was mad that his friend was making a fool out of him and he didn't realize it. I even told him that his friend was making a fool of him, but he just nodded and smiled...which was a warning sign that he couldn't speak English well.

I did forget to mention that I made the accident of giving him my number at the bar. This is important to know later. Well, finally he stopped trying to dance with me. So, I started dancing with people who could dance because I could. For starters, I'm single. Secondly, I did not come with him. He didn't feel the same way. He signaled that I should get off of the dance floor, and I did not. When I did get done dancing and begin talking to other people, he had the nerve to continuously tap me on my back as if he had temporarily lost his mind. Oh yeah, and he felt that it was important to kiss me on my mouth. Yuck.

I finally got tired of the situation and left the club. Actually, I had to quickly walk out of the club because he was trying to gather his belongings as if he was going with me. No, thank you. The next 7 days, I received hourly calls from him in Spanish...some with music and some without. Did I mention that I do not speak Spanish fluently.

This next part will seem weird, only because I like to get the most out of a situation so that the story can be even better when I tell it later. So what did I do. I decided to not call him back, but instead text him in Spanish only. I love online translators. The strange thing was that he was texting me in English. He then began leaving me messages in English. I didn't understand what was going on. Was he using an online translator also. I don't think so because he was texting me from bars in the middle of the day while he was drunk. So what was going on.

All of my questions were answered in one simple conversation. Mr. No Hablo Inglés' co-worker called me and let me know that he had been and would continue to be Mr. No Hablo Inglés' translator. He explained that he was the one who was calling and leaving me messages in English on Mr. No Hablo Inglés' behalf. He also explained that if I ever needed to say anything to Mr. No Hablo Inglés, I could contact him first and he would translate. But more importantly, he wanted to know if I had a Latina friend he could talk to.

I didn't understand why this even made sense to them. If we can't understand each other and you have to have someone tell you everything that I'm saying while we are on the phone, wouldn't it make sense to not call me anymore. I had even previously told him not to call me because we were not compatible. Confusing. Luckily, that was the last conversation.

I did take one thing from this situation. Using online translators can really help you to learn Spanish and any other language you are trying to learn. Oh yeah. I also learned that it is important that you can speak the language of the people you date. If not then move on.