The Dating Chronicles of Cheré (Ch.6): Mr. Big

Sex in the City is one of my favorite shows. In the show, there is a character named Mr. Big. His name comes from Carrie's image of him on the show as this big hotshot business man who seems almost bigger than life. He has such a strong hold on her life, yet they had difficulties throughout the show maintaining a consistent relationship. But the main part of this synopsis is that "Carrie" gave him the name and the persona of being Mr. Big.

In my lifetime, I have had to wonderful opportunity of meeting my Mr. Big...in his mind. I met Mr. Big at a gas station one evening at a gas station on my way home. He was very nice, handsome, and offered to pump my gas. Many men don't offer that gesture these days, so I took it. We spoke for a few minutes, exchanged numbers and went our on ways.

Soon after, he called me and asked me for a date. I accepted and we met at a popular neighborhood restaurant. Things were nice. The conversation was interesting and fun. We kicked it off...until the waitress showed up. He kept mentioning that she wanted him and that he was getting annoyed by her being so direct with him. I was sitting at the same table as him and did not notice at any point the waitress even appearing to like him. If anything, she smiled at both of us because she eventually wanted a tip. So that brought me to the realization that his conceit was overwhelming him.

Aside from the waitress issue, things did go well. After the first date, we went on several others to various neighborhood restaurants. Things were nice. He began to tell me more about his businesses and his goals. He had 2 children and one would soon graduate from high school and move in with him. He also mentioned everything he owned, just to let me know that he could definitely take care of himself.

There weren't many problems with this picture, other than the fact that his son that would soon be graduating from high school was only 3 or 4 years younger than me. That was a little uncomfortable, but I got over it. The other issue was that he constantly talked about what he had and how he doesn't have to worry about anything in life. "That is just wonderful, but do we have to talk about money every day. Let's talk about you."

Well, eventually I got to know the real him. For starters, he was older than me but tried to act younger. If I wanted a young man I would have dated one. If I am dating you and you are significantly older than me, there is no need for you to try to put on the facade of a teenager. Thanks for trying but it is not necessary. He would turn his music up loud and try to dance hip hop. He was constantly testing out youthful phrases that just didn't work for him. It was so annoying yet hilarious to watch this foolishness.

The next problem was that as he began to mention his son more often, he spoke more about how much he disliked his son. He was dreading the fact that his son was coming to live with him, and that bothered me. What if I were to marry this man one day and have his child? Would he hate our kids too? These are things you have to think about at times.

Now, moving on to the bigger, funnier problems. Mr. Big invited me to his humble abode. He barbecued for me and the meal was delicious. He then went to get more comfortable, and came out from the back room like he was Michael Jordan with some boxer briefs on. No thank you. The first problem was that he had on boxer briefs with a tank top/wife beater tucked into them. The second problems was that he had socks on up to his knees and some flip flops. He had a medium to small build but he had a pot belly. So with the pants tucked in and the belly pushed out, this was definitely sexy. NOT! I left soon there after, but we were still cool.

So, he asked me out on another date, and we went to a nice spot downtown. Well, when I met him there I wasn't sure what to expect because he had been dressing a lot younger for the past few weeks. I don't know why I was surprised when I walked up to him and he had on a blue jean outfit with no shirt on under it. Really? You really thought it was appropriate to dress like that. You still have a pot belly. You are still old. And for some reason he was still overwhelmed by his arrogance.

Mr. Big was a nice guy, but that was the last time I saw him. Men like women with confidence, but woman like that attribute in men as well. Yes, he was arrogant, but he was not being himself. He was trying to change himself into what he thought I wanted. Do you! Just be yourself!