The Dating Chronicles of Cheré (Ch.13): Mr. Bossy

It has been a while since I last added a chapter to the The Dating Chronicles of Cheré, so I feel that it is time. During the past few years that I have been m.i.a, I have had an opportunity to date. Some of the characters have been very interesting and ignorant at the same time. It is always a joy to share the foolishness that I encounter on a daily basis.

One evening after hanging out with friends, a guy approached me at a gas station. He was very mannerable. He appeared to have some sense, and he was very handsome. He has an accent and the most beautiful light brown eyes. I agreed to exchange numbers and that is when the foolishness began. We spoke on the phone frequently and I enjoyed our conversations. Our first date was impromptu, so we decided to go to a restaurant that neither of us had been to previously. The conversation was GREAT. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and didn't want the date to end. Every topic that we each brought up was followed by a great discussion. So, of course I agreed to a second date.

The second date was somewhat impromptu as well, which alerted my foolishness and mayhem radar sensors. Over the years, I have learned that last minute dates and impromptu planning often means there is a significant other at home waiting for the person you are dating....or the person is a crazy, serial killer who was trying to hide the last body. With that being said, we made plans to go to the park. There was terrible traffic everywhere that day. I arrived about 10 minutes late. He arrived 1 hour late. That's the same isn't it. When you think about it, 10 minutes versus an hour is minimal. Yeah right! So, I was already annoyed.

When he arrived, we took a stroll around the park. It was actually very romantic until he began he rather aggressive PDAs. Things got so awkward and bad that people were staring at us because he was just that "passionate". Well, we left this date and I had planned to never see him again. So, he called and I ignored. He texted and I ignored. I finally picked up when he called because I figured I would tell him how I felt about our second date and what I deemed as acceptable behavior versus unacceptable behavior. I felt it was only fair that he knows why he is single so that he can fit it. Right?

After begging and pleading, I finally agreed to go out on a 3rd date with him. We went to a new restaurant and the date was actually okay, until he ordered my food for me without allowing me to say what I wanted to eat. I didn't pay for the food and once I saw that he was also eating off of my plate I just figured it was a couples plate in his mind. Please note that the food was awful! However, we had another great conversation, so he got a few brownie points for holding my interest. Then he began to become a little too affectionate again. At that point, I stopped him in his tracks and explained to him what was too much. I do not mind a public kiss or hug or a little affection, but I don't enjoy making out like I'm in the scene of a soap opera or in a flick...in public. He explained that I am so beautiful that he couldn't help himself. (side note: I totally understand because my beauty often amazes me as well, but you have to control yourself). Once I explained to him that I would be leaving if he didn't pull himself together, he saw that I was serious. He began to act appropriately, so we finished the date.

For some reason I enjoy foolishness, because I agreed to one last date with him. When he arrived, I was excited to see that he had on the same outfit that he had worn on two of the prior dates, which was a beige plaid shorts and a green or light blue shirt. And this time he decided to wear this outfit with bright, blue hightop sneakers. Oh what a joy! I didn't mention this before, but I do like a well dressed man especially when I'm looking rather lovely. So, to go out to a nice venue with some dressed like a confused teen who is clearly too old is just plain embarrassing. We met at a location between where we each lived for convenience. He rode with me to the lounge. We went to the lounge and sat down for drinks, appetizers, and possible live music that never happened. I ordered a beer because I knew I could drink it quickly and we could leave if he annoyed me. He was very mannerable at the lounge but I did have to get home soon.

When we left I kept explaining that I needed to get home soon and his reply was "No, you will spend more time with me". My reply was, "No I will not!" I will go home. My problem is that he wasn't asking me to spend more time with him. He was telling me that I would (crazy person language). That is when I mentally decided that I was done with this situation. Though I wanted to give the guy a chance, it was not worth the trouble. Bossy + crazy = lead character in a Lifetime Network movie, and I was not ready to be the victim. On the way to drop him off he asked me to take him to a gas station. He got out to get some drinks. Why? I don't know, but it was unnecessary. He asked me if I wanted anything and I said no. He said, "I will bring you a Corona." I don't believe I asked for that, so I said no but thanks for the offer. He replied by saying again, "I will bring you the Corona." Now, I'm not "gangsta" but I will say what needs to be said to a crazy person. I explained to him why he wasn't bringing me Corona and to actually bring me some water or a soda unopened so that he wouldn't slip me a ruthie. He obliged and I was finally able to drop him off at his car.

When we got to his car, he felt the need to try to make out with me again. Way too much was going on and I was trying to get home. He then blurted out, "MY FRIENDS ALL TELL ME YOU TREAT ME BADLY." I wanted to tell him that my friends all think he's crazy, but never push a crazy person to the edge. Just nod your head and let them say what they have to say. Otherwise, you will be the victim in the Lifetime movie. He continued on to explain that I need to be more attentive to him and call him more. But I didn't really like him so why call. After the conversation, I told him that it just wasn't working for me. I felt that we were not compatible. He thought that I was wrong, so I left and let him stay in his little land of no reality.

From that point on I ignored his calls, because he called and texted all day everyday. This is why I never tell guys where I live. After 4 months, he finally stopped calling. Men say women are stalkers and whiners, but he proved that myth to be wrong. I did learn one thing from him. If a person seems crazy even after a good first date, RUN! I tried to give him a chance but I did my civic duty.

I'm Back!!!!!

So, I have been on hiatus for almost 3 years. I finally have time to vent again and give my views on this wonderful world we live in. A lot has happened over the past few years, so I have a lot to talk about. Look out world, because I am about to offer you all some true ridiculousness, foolishness, and a few pieces of information that could really be helpful.

Home Buying 101 – My Experience

Disclaimer: First, I would like to say that everyone’s home buying experience is different. So, when considering my advice, please remember that you still have to use your own judgment and common sense in some decisions.

For the past four years, I have been trying to purchase a home. The first two years were difficult; because every time I thought the time was right something crazy would happen. Over the past 4 years, I have learned a lot about the homebuying process and about myself. Because I have learned so much, I want to pass on what I have learned to others. I will do this story in segments, because the process is so detailed and there is so much I want to share.

Let’s Get Started!

So, you want to buy a home. What’s the first thing to consider? If you answered your budget, you are correct. You need to find out how much home you can afford so that you won’t get your feelings hurt by the bank when they approve you for a lower amount than you have been anticipating. Several factors come into play when determining how much home you can afford. Before you go to a bank for prequalification, it is a good idea to go over your debt to income ratio. Figure out how much you owe. Are there any negative items on your credit report that could hinder your loan amount, qualification for a loan, and a reasonable interest rate?

Because the economy has been through a whirlwind of uncertainty, the banking industry has changed several qualifications for loans and the loan approval process. These changes are continuously happening. So once you start the process of applying for a loan, be sure to keep up with the news. When applying for a loan, a credit score of roughly 620 is good at many banks. Strive for higher, but that is the minimum that you need to have. To get a good loan, you should strive for 650 and higher, but if you are not at that level don’t give up. You can still get a loan.

Your score is not the only thing that determines your loan approval. Your credit history and last full year of activity is important as well. It’s kind of like trying to get an all American scholarship for being good at several things but not perfect at any. You score may not be perfect, but if you pay your bills on time for the consecutive year prior to applying for a loan, this helps your chances of getting approved. For instance, a person with a 620 middle score, low balances, and on time payments can get approved for a loan.

Here goes a good checklist that could help you out before and during the pre-qualification and application process:

1. Pay all bills on time, no matter what it takes. DO NOT BE LATE ON ANY BILLS THAT ARE REPORTED TO CREDIT BUREAUS. Any late payments will more than likely shut you out of getting qualified for a loan.

2. Keep documentation, emails, EVERYTHING that relates to bills that you have paid off. If you paid off anything that went to collections, keep everything related to that bill because the bank will ask you for documentation proving that you have paid off the debt.

3. PAY OFF ALL ITEMS IN COLLECTIONS. This will help you. If you cannot pay things off, set up arrangements and pay the debt(s) down. This is critical for securing a home loan. Banks are really stringent right now and are trying to protect themselves. They look at debt in collections as an indication of whether or not you will pay your mortgage of quickly foreclose…and banks do not want potential foreclosures.

4. Gather bank statements from at least the last 3 months, and continue to keep the most up-to-date statements handy because you will need them throughout the process.

5. Be mindful of what is on your bank statement(s). Do not acquire any overdrafts during the year you are searching for a home. Banks look at your overdrafts as a major negative.

6. Keep up with 3 -5 months of paystubs. The bank will ask for them as proof of employment. Also, keep all current and new paystubs handy. The bank will ask for those throughout the process to ensure that you are still employed.

7. Have your identification card and social security card available. You will have to provide a copy of these to the bank.

8. Keep any information regarding savings accounts, IRAs, retirement funds, 401Ks, and any accounts that you have available, because the banks will request the information.

The moral of this is to understand that anything about you will be fully disclosed once you go through the loan process. So, before you even get pre-approval, make sure your business is in order. Banks look at everything these days, because they have to protect themselves after all that has happened in this economy. It is better to be prepared before you start the process than going through the pain and agony of the loan process all to find out you can’t get qualified.

Stay tuned for more information soon.

Face Value

First impressions are lasting impressions.
I used to think that you have to give people a few chances to warm up to you before you determine their character, personality, and flaws. Over the years, I have begun to learn that my original views are not true. The genuine essence of a person is revealed when you first meet that person. Some people are nervous when meeting new individuals, others are charismatic. Regardless of the case, most people give you general indicators of their overall character.

For instance, every guy that I have met or dated has said something that has given some indication of their character. Even at work, when I first meet hiring managers, bosses, or colleagues, they give some indication of what type of person they are from the start. First impressions are not always given through speech. Actions speak louder than words. People can give you a look, a glance, a reaction, or even a sound that shows how they are as an individual. That is why it is important to trust your instincts.

This has been an interesting topic for me lately, because I have encountered so many people in the past who I have given countless chances to be good friends and acquaintances. My problem has been that I love to have friends and enjoy the attention of friends. My lesson is that the more people you have in your life who do not truly care about you and who do not have good morale beliefs along with a positive aura, the more you will have confusion and unease in your life. These people bring stress into your life, because they constantly disappoint you by their actions and unreasonable expectations.

My advice is to watch who you let enter your life. If a person is charismatic and seems to be fun and adventurous, do not use that as the only qualification for allowing that person into your life fully. Choose your friends wisely. Choose them like you choose your car or your home. You want a car that is dependable, reliable, and fun. You don't want a car or home that constantly needs repairs, is financially and emotionally draining, and causes you to question your decision on a regular basis. You want something solid like a foundation. Pick friends that compliment your values and your inner-most spirit. After all, your choice in friends is a reflection of who you are as a person.

Enjoying Your City: Taking Advantage of a Cancelled Vacation

Last year, I was supposed to go to Puerto Rico for my summer vacation. Sadly, I arrived at the airport late and missed my flight. However, there was another flight available for the following morning, but I ended up canceling the trip due to unforeseen circumstances.

Having to cancel the trip left me with one major question: WHAT NOW? I was all packed and ready to go out of town with no where to go. So, I did the only reasonable thing. I acted as if I was visiting Atlanta (my hometown), and I hotel hopped for 4 days. I never realized how fun this could be, and I enjoyed every moment at each hotel. I also had the opportunity to enjoy my city. Everyday, I drive to work, drive to lunch, drive home, and that's it. I never have a chance to really look at my surroundings and experience what the city has to offer. Well, when the chance presented itself, I took advantage of it.

One hotel I stayed at was the Doubletree Inn. I must say, I love hotel specials. I was able to get a cheap rate and a great room. I was close to downtown, near the highway, yet close to attractions and shopping centers. Everything I needed was a hop, skip, and jump away from my location. The room was a great value and the bed had to be one of the most comfortable hotel bed I had slept on in a while.

Another hotel I visited was the Marriott. This hotel was located on the outskirts of the city. The area was more secluded than the hotel downtown. There was a pool, and I felt very relaxed. The hotel was also close to shopping centers, but they were not as close as those near the Doubletree. This was no problem for me, because I wanted to be in a more private location where I could relax and get away from everything. Did I mention the room was gorgeous? I enjoyed every bit of the stay, and I got more sleep than I had in years.

I must say that one picture cannot fully show how nice and spaceous the room was at the Marriott. I felt like I was in a luxury suite in this impressive room. I would definitely at a Marriott hotel again. In addition to staying in such a nice and comfortable room, the hotel also gave me a $25 gift card for staying there. I also had a great room rate, and the price was much lower than the rooms true value.

Breakfast was also delicious and included in the room price. This hotel proved to be the perfect in-town hotel option. Though it was not in the city center, I was close enough to the city to enjoy all that Atlanta has to offer. I encourage you to visit Marriott's and Doubletree's websites.

ENJOY LIFE TO THE FULLEST. DON'T LET LIFE'S UNEXPECTED BLUNDERS AND MISHAPS STOP YOU FROM ENJOYING LIFE. MAKE THE MOST OF WHAT YOU HAVE AVAILABLE, LET GO, AND HAVE FUN!

BEWARE OF HOME INVASIONS....BY KIDS

Summer time is here. Kids are out of school. Roads are less crowded because no school buses are parked for the summer. So, what now?

When you thought that summertime would come with stress free days and no traffic, you would have never have thought of the negative aspects that come with this long break for kids. Now children are turner to burglary as a pass-time during those long summer days of nothing to do. That's just great. First, we have to worry about people stealing oil from our cars because gas prices have increased so quickly. Yes, people are stealing gas out of parked cars. So with that piece of horrible news it is just sad to know that those who leave their homes daily now have to worry about the neighborhood kids robbing them.

You may be wondering where this is coming from. Well, today my best friends house got robbed while she was out of town. The assailants broke into the house yesterday but took nothing. They came back this morning and attempted to steal....drum roll please....... A VIDEO GAME CONSOLE. They also tried to take the television, but I guess they needed that in order to play the video games.

Thankfully, a neighbor saw the kids through the open front door that they had kicked in. She quickly called the police and they were able to arrive at the crime scene fast enough to arrest all four intruders. The sad part...they ranged from ages 10 to 14. So, they have caused hundreds of dollars in damage, taken away the safety of the home, and gotten away with nothing. They did all of this for a video game console. WOW.

Now, a few things bother me at this point:

A. Why were these kids out at 11pm and 7am? What ever happened to a bed time and Saturday morning cartoons?

B. Where were their parents? It's a weekend and a holiday, so shouldn't your kids be accounted for?

C. Why did they do all of this to steal a video game console? (Sidenote: I'm glad that was one of the only things they were after.)

I am greatly bothered by this because these kids will all be out of jail today. Also, they will be out of school for the entire summer. So, they have plenty of time on their hands. What can be done to prevent matters from getting worse? What can be done to prevent this from happening to someone else.

After today's happenings, I've done some research on how to safeguard your house from theft. This house had an alarm system and was still broken in to, so what can be done when the alarm can save you from a thief:

1. Invest in secure locks and deadbolts. Get the locks with bump guards to protect yourself from thieves who can bump locks.

2. Get a lock and door reinforcer from a store like Home Depot, Lowe's or Wal-Mart. The reinforcer helps to prevent theives from being able to kick your door in.

3. Make sure your door frame is secure and withstand the kick of a thief.

4. Burglar bars. This is an old school approach, but effective nevertheless. Just be careful in the event of a house fire.

5. Keep your lights on and let your presence be known (even if you are not at home). Thieves are smart. They have lookouts. Their lookouts could even be one of your neighbors, so just be mindful that thieves pay attention to everything.

There are so many things that can be done to protect your home. Just be mindful and aware that thieves are always out lurking for new places to steal from. Don't let your home be the next. The economy is not doing to well right now. In this case, kids lack home training and just don't care about the consequences of their actions...unless they get caught. So, protect yourself.

*Picture from Doug Jones Art

The Dating Chronicles of Cheré (Ch.12): CSI

Okay, okay. I know. I have the power to make good decisions, but I just like to laugh. So, sometimes I have to take one for the team. I should have learned a while ago not to let people blindly hook me up with friends, but I just can't. Blind dates and setup relationships are what give me my funniest stories.

I trust my friends, sometimes too much. I allowed the same friend who set me up with My Funny Valentine to set me up again. This time the guy was a lot worse. I met this guy when it was cool to have a phone relationship and nothing more. Today, I still do not know what this guy looks like because I never met him in person. We spoke everyday on the phone for a month but never had a chance to meet.

It all started when my friend called me on the phone 3-way with my blind phone date. We all talked and joked for a few minutes. He and I then exchanged numbers. He called me later and we talked for a while. This went on for a few weeks smoothly, then one day my father started to listen in on my calls with him. When I found this out, the rebellious teenager came out of me and I talked to the guy more often.

During one conversation he commented that I probably smelled like strawberries. Though he never met me, he somehow just knew that I smelled like strawberries. I didn't really know what that meant at the time, but I was flattered nevertheless. Sadly, my father understood his comment and was on the phone listening to the comment in real time. How horrible!!! I was so embarrassed that my father had heard this guy talking to me intimately, but I was angry. So I kept talking to the guy until.....

One day I received a call from an investigator. The investigator was really vague at first. She first said that my phone boyfriend was in an accident and I was the last call on his cell phone. I immediately got worried and asked how he was. She didn't really answer. Instead she kept asking me questions. She asked me if I had seen him that day and if he had a gun. I had never seen him so I quickly said "no". She then asked if I knew of his whereabouts. "?" Didn't you just tell me that he was in an accident and was injured? How do you not know where he is?

I was confused and there were more questions. I explained that I only knew him over the phone. I had never met him, and that I don't know what could have happened. She then explained that he had just committed a crime, fled the scene and left his phone there. Now that was hilarious, and that was time I dealt with him. He called a few times but there was no need to answer. I was young, but I did know that being affiliated with criminals is not good.

The Dating Chronicles of Cheré (Ch.11): Mr. Thug'n Love

I was young. I was dumb. I'm willing to admit the truth.

Mr. Thug'n Love was my first true love. Just kidding. He was the first guy to kiss my hand and tell me how beautiful I was. It was love at first sight. I loved his compliments and he loved the way I looked. It was a match made in the land of make believe, when all that matters in life are good looks and smooth words. So, you already know this was going no where.

I met this guy through one of his relatives and we hit it off at first. He was always very polite. He was older than me. I was in high school and he was a little over 20. So, I felt grown when he called me. I would soon find out that I was more mature than him in many ways. Older does not mean wiser.

We met during the summer and we spent a lot of time together. We would go out on dates and just enjoy our time together. Then I found out the big news that he had kept from me for a while. He had a child. Okay, I can deal with that. It's not like we're getting married. So, one day I went by the house of one of his family members who I knew. When I got to the house, everyone was looking at me like I was crazy. I couldn't understand what was going on. Why was everyone looking at me like I had just come out of the loony bin. Well, I was taken to the side and told that his child's mother who was also pregnant with his baby was in the house.

Using my sense, I called him to ask what was going on. He could have told me this pertinent piece of information. We talked for a few minutes and we came to an understanding that I would not be going out with him again out of respect of his "GIRLFRIEND". So, I didn't not hear from him for a while.

He called me one day just to hear my voice and told me that he missed me and couldn't understand why I hadn't called him anymore. I didn't understand where this was coming from, so I just talked to him for a second. I was a little flattered, young, and foolish. While we were talking, it sounding like a commotion was going on. I asked what was happening and he told me that someone was trying to steal his car. If someone is stealing your car then why are you on the phone. I just didn't understand, so I got off of the phone.

I didn't speak to him again for about a month. He called me at work to see how I was doing. Did I mention that he was in jail at the time. Why? I don't know. More importantly, why are you calling me at work from jail? I saw this person a few times hear and there because he is related to one of my friends, but only in passing. It is weird, because every time I see him I just wonder why? Why did he call me from jail? Why did he not tell me that he had a girlfriend with a baby on the way? Why was he on the phone with me when his car was getting stolen? So many questions but no way to get them answered. I can only characterize this as FOOLISHNESS.

The Impact of Blogging On Job and College Recruiting: Can Your Blog Help or Hurt You?

Recently, I had conversations with a few of my friends and colleagues regarding the impact of blogging on one's ability to get a job or get into a college. In the past, I have often wondered what would happen if my manager or college recruiter were to find my Myspace or Facebook pages. What would they think of me? Why are they looking for me on these Websites? What should I do to either prevent them from seeing my pages or manage my pages in a way to make them presentable to anyone?

First, let's tackle the concept that blogging can impact your odds of getting a job and getting into school. Many will not say this, but blogs are looked at by recruiters. Recruiters are just like any other person. Many of them probably have blogs and they look people up on a regular basis in their regular lives. So, what would stop them from looking you up when considering you as a candidate for a job or educational program? Absolutely nothing. When I was in school, I would check out some of my classmates' Myspace and Facebook pages just to get an idea of who they were.

Though these web pages and blogs do not make a person, it gives you a little peak into their character and you can sometimes find out some useful information about these individuals. For instance, it would not be a good idea to promote drug use on your website or blog if you are applying for jobs. Why? For starters, this lets your potential employer know that you might be a junkie. Secondly, you might be a junkie and now your potential employers knows it.

Another thing that people do not consider is the content of your blog and the personal information that is provided by you. The example I will use is that of a college student who is applying to several graduate school programs. As I have mentioned already, people do not realize who really views your Myspace, Facebook and blog pages. So, if you are a potential graduate school student who is applying to several universities but has already accepted an offer to a particular school, be cognisant that the other schools you are applying to may have seen your blog and will not reject your application because you have stated on your blog that you will be attending another school. Even if you were willing to opt not to go to the school that you accepted an offer to because in your heart you are waiting for your favorite school to respond, you still should not put all of this information on your blog(s). Some information should be more discrete.

Part of life's journey is making choices, and part of making choices with regards to your interaction with people is making good first impressions. First impressions really do count. Sometimes an applicant's first impression is their blog because they have not had an interview with the recruiter as of yet. Therefore, it is important to make sure that you make good choices in how you present yourself in all aspects of life. Now, I'm not saying that blogs should be the sole determinant of whether or not you get a job or get into school, but we have to be realistic here. People read blogs and sometimes the people who read blogs may have an influence on our lives and personal growth. So, be smart.

Here are a few tips that I consider when handling my blog, Myspace, and Facebook pages:

1. Use a pseudonym (fake name).

2. Do not use your real personal information when filling out address information on blog websites.

3. Create an alternate email address that can not be linked back to your personal email addresses.

4. Keep a clean, reader friendly blog and/or web page.

5. Be careful of what you blog about.

6. Be conscious of the fact that recruiters have access to the web just like you and I.

7. Put a block on your pages that will only allow your friends to view your Myspace and Facebook pages. (This will keep unwanted people from viewing your pages).

8. DO NOT PROMOTE DRUG, ALCOHOL, OR SEXUALLY EXPLICIT MEDIA AND/OR CHARACTERS ON YOUR WEBSITES. (You do not want to give off the wrong vibes to recruiters.)

Show Me the Money: Where Is My Money?

Many of you who filed taxes this year may have already noticed that the tax refund checks and electronic deposits sent rather quickly by the IRSthis year. But for those who should receive a rebate and have not as of yet, where are the rebate checks?

I have heard this question almost every day for the past few weeks. I know individuals who even filed their taxes in January and February of 2008 but have not yet received their rebate. Many have received their rebates already, but there are still several tax payers who have not yet received the money. Why? I found a very interesting article today entitled "Where's My Tax Rebate Check?" on Aol.com that addressed this issue.

Well, the tax refunds were mailed out quickly, but that had no impact on the speed that the rebates were sent out. The rebates are still on the scheduled timeline. The refund checks are being mailed out on a schedule that is based on the last 2 digits of your Social Security number:

For those who will receive a rebate check (paper check) the dates are as follows:

00-09 May 16
10-18 May 23
19-25 May 30
26-38 June 6
39-51 June 13
52-63 June 20
64-75 June 27
76-87 July 4
88-99 July 11

For those receiving funds through direct deposit, most of the 45 million electronic rebates have already been deposited. The last round of direct deposit rebates will be placed in accounts no later than May 16, 2008. The final set of deposit will be for those direct deposit tax payers whose Social Security numbers end in 76 through 99.

If you do not receive your rebate by May 16th and you electronically filed or if you do not receive the paper check on the scheduled dates listed above then what is the next step. If you have not received your paper check a week after you were scheduled to receive it, then check the IRS's Where's My Stimulus Payment tool. This nifty tool actually gives you the date you should receive payment and the amount of your rebate. The tool even specifies a date that you should contact the IRS if you do not receive your payment. To use the tool, you must have your Social Security #, filing status, and total number of exemptions handy. These are the only 3 items you will have to fill out.

In the event that you do not receive your rebate at all this year, don't worry:

You'll get your money when you file your 2008 return next Spring. Remember, the rebate is really a prepayment of a tax credit on 2008 returns. Taxpayers who don't get their money this year will collect next spring. Aol.com

For those of you who are still unsure as to whether are not you will receive a check, these are the items that will keep you from receiving the rebate:

1. If you are a dependent

2. If you are single and make more than $75,000 or a married couple and make more than $150,000

3. If your spouse lacks a Social Security number

4. If you do not file on time (*You can still get a rebate but you will either get it extremely late or next year when you file your 2008 taxes)

So, there you have it. Your money is on the way. You just have to be a little more patient. Checking your account balance every morning and evening and running to your mailbox every day will not make the rebate come any faster. So sit still, be patient, and know that your rebate is on its way. If it does not come a week after its scheduled time, then contact the IRS as soon as possible to get the matter resolved. Let's think positively. This just gives you a little more time to plan how you will spend or save the money.

Tropical Cyclone NARGIS Kills Over 20,000 People in Myanmar (Burma)

For those of you not aware of the multiple natural disasters that have occurred recently, I would like to take the time to update everyone on what has happened around the world.

Map shows areas impacted by the cyclone that devasted Myanmar. (Source: ITHACA)

On April 27, 2008, a tropical cyclone began in the north Indian Ocean and quickly progressed to 65 knot winds by April 28th. The cyclone, given the name Nargis, quickly moved along India's coast, strengthening day by day. As stated by the Pacific Data Center, the storm took aim at highly populated areas. The storm traveled further inland, only bringing devasting winds, high surf, and a large storm surge. As the storm lost its strength, it was quickly followed by heavy rainfall, flash flooding and mudslides. The storm reaped havoc from Myanmar to Thailand.

Map shows more areas devasted by Tropical Cyclone Nargis. (Source: ITHACA)

As of May 6, 2008, CTV Ottawa reported that the death toll was up to 22,400 people according to state-run media. 41,000 people are reported as missing, and many fear that the death will quickly climb based on the number missing. Because of the level of devastation from this storm, many are in need of feed, clothing, medicine, and monetary aid. The population of Myanmar, formerly known as Burma, is believed to be 49 million. Of that population, it is estimated that 1 million people are now left homeless.

Picture shows distruction of Tropical Cyclone Nargis to inhabitants. (Source: BBC News)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/7384111.stm

For those of you who would like to make donations to the American Red Cross for the Disaster Relief and International Response Funds, please do so by visiting the American Red Cross website. There are other wasy to donate:

Via Telephone

Call1-800-HELP-NOW(1-800-435-7669)English speaking
Call1-800-257-7575Spanish Speaking
Call1-800-220-4095For TDD Operator

Mail

American Red CrossPO Box 37295

Washington, DC 20013

Attn: J. Porter

Other options are located on the American Redcross Website.

The Dating Chronicles of Cheré (Ch.10): Mr. Hobby

One person's hobby is another person's addiction. But there are some people out there who are unaware of the difference between a hobby and an addition.

One day I was eating at a restaurant and a waitress handed me a business card sent from another patron. At first I thought that the gesture was flattering and respectful. I say respectful because I was eating with colleagues and I do not deem it appropriate to approach me when I'm out with colleagues. I only say this because you don't want everyone in your business with regards to whom you are dating.

With that being said, the business card was handed to me and the guy passed by a couple of times to let me visibily see who he was. Okay...I had a visual and he appeared to be well-kept. I called him that day to acknowledge that I received the card, and we spoke for a few minutes. He had to call me back, but I didn't hear back from him until the next day.

I did notice that on the next day he was careful to call me before 6pm. I missed his call and called back, but received no answer. This happened again the following day, and he then began to text me but not call after 6pm. WARNING SIGN #1: HE MIGHT BE IN A RELATIONSHIP.

We finally stopped playing phone tag and set up a lunch date. We met at a fast food restaurant, which was a slight problem because this was somewhat of a date. So, the intimacy of the date was lost due to the lunch crowd. I ignored this issue because I had a feeling others would quickly present themselves.

As we ate, he started to talk about his job and how he has been impacted by the economy. When then talked about ourselves. He asked me what my hobbies were. I quickly replied that enjoy shopping, dancing, trying new things, writing, etc. I then asked him about his hobbies, and he replied that he enjoys spending time on the Internet. At first, I didn't understand how that was considered a hobby because he was not clear about what he was doing online. Does he sell items on eBay as a hobby? Does he collect items? Does he collect music? What does he blog? What does he do online to make it a hobby?

Well, he quickly clarified that he enjoys porn. Really?! I just did not know that looking at pornography online was considered to be a hobby rather than an addiction (depending on how often you look at it). Now, I know that there are men out there who enjoy an occasional boob or dirty image on some porn sites. Some women enjoy it too. However, this guy explained to me that he spent countless hours online enjoying his porn. That's one of those things that you don't really tell a person on the first date, but that shows how important it was to him. WARNING SIGN #2: HE DOESN'T REALIZE HE'S ADDICTED TO PORN.

I understand why he told me these things on the first date, because he was prepping me for his expectations. He explained that he is utterly amazed at what porn stars are capable of and that he would like that in a relationship. Good, but why are we discussing this on a first date in a fast food joint.

Next, I asked him what his other hobbies are. He replied that his only other hobby was being around "several" beautiful women. Then he began to give me a nasty look...as in sexually nasty. Great. WARNING SIGN #3: DUDE IS POSSIBLY A WOMANIZER.

Finally, we started to discuss more personal information. Once you've discussed porn for 15 minutes, the relationship is pretty much open. So, he went on to explain that he had 3 kids who were ages 5, 7, and 9, and all were by the same woman. WARNING SIGN #4: DUDE IS MARRIED. I then asked where the mother is, and he explained..."Oh....I live with my babies' mama. We have been having issues, and I'm moving on."

At this point, I reached clarity. I was done with my food, so I could now leave knowing what I knew about this guy:

A. YOU ARE ADDICTED TO PORN
B. YOU ARE A WOMANIZER
C. YOU ARE MARRIED!!! My name is not Boo Boo The Fool, so just because you call a woman your babies' mama does not mean I do not realize that you are married. What in the world?!?!?!?!?! You have a planned family. You live with a woman who is your wife but you won't admit it. Even if she is not your wife, I consider you common law at this point because your oldest child with her is 9 which means you have been together for at least 10 years. If you are so broken up and not married, why can't you call me past 6pm? Exactly!!! YOU ARE MARRIED. NO THANK YOU. In addition, you are addicted to porn and a womanizer. Plain and simple foolishness yet again. But at least I got a free meal and a new story. The price I pay to please you people with this blog.

The Dating Chronicles of Cheré (Ch.9): Time Waits for No One?

Patience is a virtue, and it is one that I definitely have. I went to a restaurant one day to kill some time while I was waiting for my car to get repaired. Never would I have thought that this would be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

One of my friends and I chose this particular restaurant because it was close to the car shop and it seemed to be very nice from the outside. It was even more beautiful inside. Once we were seated, out waitor began to help us with all of our restaurant needs. The service was good, the atomosphere was nice, and the waitor at the next table was flirting with me quite openly.

He started by coming by to check on us even though it wasn't his table. Each time he came by, he rested his hand on my shoulder and back. He then said something to our waitor in private, which I'm assuming was him giving our waitor the heads up that he liked me. Well, this flirting continued during the entire meal. I'm gonna be real right now. Don't bother me while I'm eating. I am paying for this food and want to enjoy it. By the time he got done hanging out at the table, I couldn't even remember what I had to eat. Great.

Once I was done with my meal and my friend was on her phone, he gathered the confidence to ask for my number and ask me out. I figured, why not. I'm single. I have some free time, and this may give me another funny story to tell. I didn't know how great the story would be until later the next week.

Things went well at first. He called me a few times...not too much. We had decent conversations...not too long. We set a date for our first date. This is when things fell apart. I went to the location of our date and waited for him. He called to let me know he was running late. He was sorry, but he wasn't off of work yet.

WAIT A MINUTE. You are at work. Why did you schedule this date if you had to work? This made no sense to me at all. The place we were meeting at was a Latin club. So, I was able to enjoy the view of the dance floor while waiting for him. As time passed I got worried and my cell phone was beginning to die. I was getting irritated and this was just plain embarassing.

He then called to let me know an hour later that he was still at work. At this point I could leave because I had just finished a drink. I informed him that I would be there for another hour and a half. So, an hour later he called letting me know that he was outside of the club but he left his ID at work. The is just wonderful. Not only are you 2 hours late but you also don't have yourself together. Did I go outside to meet him since he couldn't get in...NO! It was not my fault that he was 2 hours late and ill prepared. I did not want to see him at that point.

I spoke to him once after that, and he wanted to see me badly. Badly would mean that you plan for a date on your off night or inform me in advance that you have to work before the date. I'm an understanding woman. But to have me go to the club and wait. That is not good. Classic foolishness!

The Dating Chronicles of Cheré (Ch.8): No Hablo Inglés

When I say I date a range of men, I mean a broad range of men. I don't discriminate and I try not to judge. But sometimes, I just want to give up. One thing I have learned about dating different people from different walks of life is that all races are really similar in some way. When I date outside of my race, I rarely find any major differences other than some cultural differences between the guys.

With that being said, I now have found that I have to set some major guidelines for who I'm willing to date in or out of my race because foolishness can occur in any race. Today you will learn a little secret about me. I love salsa dancing. It has become a hobby for me, and I frequent various salsa and Latin clubs (there is a difference).

In going dancing frequently, I tend to meet several interesting characters and an occasional cool person. In the story of "No Hablo Inglés," I went to a Latin club on this particular night to just chill and dance a little. The night started out okay. I sat at the bar, ordered a drink, and just watched a few people dance. This is when a young Latin guy approached me. He asked how I was doing and if I was married or in a relationship. I replied "no". He then sat next to me and we spoke for a second, but the music was loud so I couldn't hear him clearly.

After we spoke for a while, some random dude literally came and sat between us and starting talking to me. Didn't you see me talking to someone else or are you really going to ignore the dude that is right behind you. Well, I quickly realized that the guy who sat between us was very, very, very, very, very, very drunk....very. Though drunk, he somehow found it appropriate to follow me around the club for 30 minutes. Why me? It could be my undeniable beauty or my wonderful personality that draws these men to me. (I like myself. What can I say?!).

Finally, the guy got ready to leave the club, but not before he felt that it was appropriate to kiss me on my cheek and forehead. I really didn't want drunken, stinky, spit on my face but why should I expect anything less at this point. After his passionate forehead kiss and dreamy/drunken eye stare at me, he left. THANK GOD.

I thought things would be fine from that point. I began to speak to my Latin friend again, but now a friend of his joined us. His friend coerced him into dancing with me even though he couldn't dance, so I was highly disappointed. I was disappointed because he couldn't dance. I was mad that his friend was making a fool out of him and he didn't realize it. I even told him that his friend was making a fool of him, but he just nodded and smiled...which was a warning sign that he couldn't speak English well.

I did forget to mention that I made the accident of giving him my number at the bar. This is important to know later. Well, finally he stopped trying to dance with me. So, I started dancing with people who could dance because I could. For starters, I'm single. Secondly, I did not come with him. He didn't feel the same way. He signaled that I should get off of the dance floor, and I did not. When I did get done dancing and begin talking to other people, he had the nerve to continuously tap me on my back as if he had temporarily lost his mind. Oh yeah, and he felt that it was important to kiss me on my mouth. Yuck.

I finally got tired of the situation and left the club. Actually, I had to quickly walk out of the club because he was trying to gather his belongings as if he was going with me. No, thank you. The next 7 days, I received hourly calls from him in Spanish...some with music and some without. Did I mention that I do not speak Spanish fluently.

This next part will seem weird, only because I like to get the most out of a situation so that the story can be even better when I tell it later. So what did I do. I decided to not call him back, but instead text him in Spanish only. I love online translators. The strange thing was that he was texting me in English. He then began leaving me messages in English. I didn't understand what was going on. Was he using an online translator also. I don't think so because he was texting me from bars in the middle of the day while he was drunk. So what was going on.

All of my questions were answered in one simple conversation. Mr. No Hablo Inglés' co-worker called me and let me know that he had been and would continue to be Mr. No Hablo Inglés' translator. He explained that he was the one who was calling and leaving me messages in English on Mr. No Hablo Inglés' behalf. He also explained that if I ever needed to say anything to Mr. No Hablo Inglés, I could contact him first and he would translate. But more importantly, he wanted to know if I had a Latina friend he could talk to.

I didn't understand why this even made sense to them. If we can't understand each other and you have to have someone tell you everything that I'm saying while we are on the phone, wouldn't it make sense to not call me anymore. I had even previously told him not to call me because we were not compatible. Confusing. Luckily, that was the last conversation.

I did take one thing from this situation. Using online translators can really help you to learn Spanish and any other language you are trying to learn. Oh yeah. I also learned that it is important that you can speak the language of the people you date. If not then move on.

The Dating Chronicles of Cheré (Ch.7): Mr. Hustle No Flow

Men come in all shapes, sizes, and levels. I try to date all types in order to be fair, but I think I went to far this time. I met Mr. Hustle No Flow at his job as a stocker at Wal-Mart. As a disclaimer, I know people who work there and have no problem with them. Wal-Mart employment is not the problem here. The problem in this story is that he was an aspiring rapper.

I enjoy rap music, and I like artists who are serious about there work. People who just rap at a party with there boys to a Jay-Z hit or T.I. single are not rappers in my world. They are rap lovers. Well, this guy appeared to be neither.

The first problem was how he approached me. "Hey Miss Lady, why don't you come over and holla at me." At first I said no because my name is not "Miss Lady", but after he kept asking I went ahead and spoke to him for a few minutes. THAT WAS MY FAULT. I accidentally initiated what I now call "foolishness in the making". I kept saying to myself, do not judge a book by its cover. Give him a chance. He just seemed a little childish, and I should've stuck with that first impression.

I didn't. Instead, I went out with him. Well, for the first and last date he called to inform me that his car was messed up and that he needed me to pick him up. Okay, I'll be nice and do this, plus in a way I wanted to test my theory on first impressions begin correct. I picked him up and transported him around on our date, and then I dropped him off at what I thought was his home. The date was okay, and afterwards we talked about his rapping career for a little while. I still remained nice and continued on with not judging him. (Also, I found out that he was 4 years younger than me and still growing.).

So, two days later I spoke to him. His car was still not working and he needed a ride home. I picked him up and took him to a "different" home. This place was his actual home. So...where did I drop him off the first time. Hmmmm???? Something sounds fishy here, but don't judge. This may make a good story one day...and it does. So we went to his place to chill for a second. He wanted to show me around, but when we walked in only one area had furniture. He had candles every where but no matches or lighters, and we used boxes as chairs. The worst part came when he asked me to use my cell phone as a light. Humphhh....the foolishness manifests into craziness and mayhem. Did you really just ask me to use my phone as a lamp? WHY ME???

Here's the kicker. I told him that I would be leaving now because this was ridiculous. He got a little mad and asked me to take him to his third home..."his baby's mama's house".

Thankfully, I didn't see Mr. Hustle No Flow again. I must admit that it was nice having a younger guy hit on me, and I am thankful for the story.

The Dating Chronicles of Cheré (Ch.6): Mr. Big

Sex in the City is one of my favorite shows. In the show, there is a character named Mr. Big. His name comes from Carrie's image of him on the show as this big hotshot business man who seems almost bigger than life. He has such a strong hold on her life, yet they had difficulties throughout the show maintaining a consistent relationship. But the main part of this synopsis is that "Carrie" gave him the name and the persona of being Mr. Big.

In my lifetime, I have had to wonderful opportunity of meeting my Mr. Big...in his mind. I met Mr. Big at a gas station one evening at a gas station on my way home. He was very nice, handsome, and offered to pump my gas. Many men don't offer that gesture these days, so I took it. We spoke for a few minutes, exchanged numbers and went our on ways.

Soon after, he called me and asked me for a date. I accepted and we met at a popular neighborhood restaurant. Things were nice. The conversation was interesting and fun. We kicked it off...until the waitress showed up. He kept mentioning that she wanted him and that he was getting annoyed by her being so direct with him. I was sitting at the same table as him and did not notice at any point the waitress even appearing to like him. If anything, she smiled at both of us because she eventually wanted a tip. So that brought me to the realization that his conceit was overwhelming him.

Aside from the waitress issue, things did go well. After the first date, we went on several others to various neighborhood restaurants. Things were nice. He began to tell me more about his businesses and his goals. He had 2 children and one would soon graduate from high school and move in with him. He also mentioned everything he owned, just to let me know that he could definitely take care of himself.

There weren't many problems with this picture, other than the fact that his son that would soon be graduating from high school was only 3 or 4 years younger than me. That was a little uncomfortable, but I got over it. The other issue was that he constantly talked about what he had and how he doesn't have to worry about anything in life. "That is just wonderful, but do we have to talk about money every day. Let's talk about you."

Well, eventually I got to know the real him. For starters, he was older than me but tried to act younger. If I wanted a young man I would have dated one. If I am dating you and you are significantly older than me, there is no need for you to try to put on the facade of a teenager. Thanks for trying but it is not necessary. He would turn his music up loud and try to dance hip hop. He was constantly testing out youthful phrases that just didn't work for him. It was so annoying yet hilarious to watch this foolishness.

The next problem was that as he began to mention his son more often, he spoke more about how much he disliked his son. He was dreading the fact that his son was coming to live with him, and that bothered me. What if I were to marry this man one day and have his child? Would he hate our kids too? These are things you have to think about at times.

Now, moving on to the bigger, funnier problems. Mr. Big invited me to his humble abode. He barbecued for me and the meal was delicious. He then went to get more comfortable, and came out from the back room like he was Michael Jordan with some boxer briefs on. No thank you. The first problem was that he had on boxer briefs with a tank top/wife beater tucked into them. The second problems was that he had socks on up to his knees and some flip flops. He had a medium to small build but he had a pot belly. So with the pants tucked in and the belly pushed out, this was definitely sexy. NOT! I left soon there after, but we were still cool.

So, he asked me out on another date, and we went to a nice spot downtown. Well, when I met him there I wasn't sure what to expect because he had been dressing a lot younger for the past few weeks. I don't know why I was surprised when I walked up to him and he had on a blue jean outfit with no shirt on under it. Really? You really thought it was appropriate to dress like that. You still have a pot belly. You are still old. And for some reason he was still overwhelmed by his arrogance.

Mr. Big was a nice guy, but that was the last time I saw him. Men like women with confidence, but woman like that attribute in men as well. Yes, he was arrogant, but he was not being himself. He was trying to change himself into what he thought I wanted. Do you! Just be yourself!

The Dating Chronicles of Cheré (Ch.5): Mr. No Neck

You would think I had learned my lesson, but I didn't. I let another friend hook me up with a guy 3 years later. Why me? Why?

I spoke to the guy a few times on the phone. He seemed okay so I did not mind the blind date. We agreed to meet for a movie. When I got to the theater, I looked around and waited for the guy who was supposed to sweep me off of my feet. However, I was still worried that the blind date would be unsuccessful and depressing.

I was right. The guy approached me, and all I could think was "where is his neck?" I mean for real, unless you are a state trooper on South Park or Smokey and the Bandit, you should have a neck. So, from that point I maintained my distance. One thing I have learned is that if you are not attracted to a person, there is NO point in faking it or pursuing something that will not work. Yes, personality is important in a relationship but let's be real. In most instances, the first thing that attracts you to a person is their appearance.

Now, I'm not saying that people who aren't 100% attracted to each other can't have a successful relationship. They can. I've seen it happen. I have seen socially attractive people marry people who are considered to be at the bottom of the totem pole for looks. So, love is much more than looks. But, what makes your boat float? What are you attracted to? Some people may just want an intellectual person, a religious individual, or just a very beautiful person on the inside and out. Others strictly go by looks.

For this situation, lets be real. I was in college. I was new to the dating scene, and I wanted someone who I was physically attracted to. Well, Mr. No Neck was not it. Once the movie ended, that was the last time I saw or spoke to Mr. No Neck. The lesson from this story is, if you know that your are not attracted to someone (unless you had a strong intellectual or spiritual attraction to this person) don't waste your time or settle. There are more fish in the sea.

The Dating Chronicles of Cheré (Ch.4): My Funny Valentine

I don't have many memorable Valentine's Days, but the ones that I do remember are just pitiful. Oddly, I still like the holiday but it has not been good to me.

The one I remember the most was from when I was in high school. One of my friends wanted to hook me up with her boyfriend's best friend. At first I was apprehensive, but I went ahead and let her set me up with him. What a great mistake that was!

The first time I spoke to him I was very nervous. Not only was this blind dating, but I had to rely on his conversation in order to judge his character initially. He was a good guy...great conversationalist. I was concerned about him though, because it seemed like each time I spoke to him he had just been in an accident. One time he had even taken his car to the shop to get it repaired and got in an accident leaving the shop. So, I duly noted that riding with him was not an option.

Well, things progressed over a month, yet I had not met him (strict parents). We finally went out on a date. I was so excited to meet him, but found that I was not attracted to him at all. He did have a good personality, so I did not judge him based on looks. We continued to talk for a few months. Things were getting comfortable. At this time, Valentine's Day was quickly approaching. The friendship/relationship began to progress, and I began to wonder how the day of love would go for me.

He did all of the right things. He called me early to wish me a Happy Valentine's Day. We talked several times throughout the day, until I got out of school. He then came to my parents' house to give me my card and gift. Everything was perfect. Then he politely informed me that he and his ex-girlfriend had started back dating and that she might be pregnant. Great! Is this really happening on Valentine's Day? Could you have waited until tomorrow or just done this yesterday? Why ruin VALENTINE'S DAY?

That is when I realized that Valentine's Day sucks. Well, it doesn't suck but it is not kind to the single and broken-hearted. The worst part of the story is that I was giving him a chance because I was not attracted to him in any way. I was trying not to be vain, but in the end I got duped. That would be the last time that someone got the best of me in that way.

The Dating Chronicles of Cheré (Ch.3): Pistol Flasher

So, I try my best not to typecast a profession (specifically law enforcement). For many years, people have told me that people in law enforcement can be a little crazy. I don't believe that is true in all cases...but I can see where that assumption could come from at times.

In being a nice individual, I gave officers another chance. This time, I went for another branch of law enforcement. Sheriff Pistol Flasher was a very nice individual at first. He was a little overly confident (arrogant), but it was becoming for him. He was about 10 years older than me and somewhat established. He had his own place, car, and money. He also had one child, and he told me that he saw the child frequently. Great!

Now the problems begin. He began to show how bossy and demanding he really was after the first few dates. He tried to keep me in my place a few times, then I began to see how serious he was about being a sheriff. I understand that when people know you are a sheriff or police officer, you have to begin carrying your "piece" on you at all times because people will sometimes try to attack law enforcement when they are off duty. So, maintaining safety is important.

HOWEVER, holding a gun in your hand as you escort me back and forth places is not necessary. He wasn't holding the gun to me, but he felt that he had to hold it out so that people would know he had it. Really! So, it is really necessary to walk around with a gun in your hand like you're in a Western movie? I don't think so. Well, that was the last time I saw him for two reasons. Walking around with a man with a gun in his hand scares me a little, and walking around with a crazy man who is constantly holding a gun scares me a lot.

Stand tuned for more stories of foolishness.

The Dating Chronicles of Cheré (Ch.2): So You Hate Your Mother

Just imagine walking into a home filled with stuffed animals. Every larger animal has it's own chair, and if one is moved there is a weird silence because you have moved the "stuffed" animal from it's seat.

Well, this is what I faced one of my dates with Officer Crazy. Now, I'm not saying that all police officers are crazy...just this one. Officer Crazy was very nice and mannerable during the beginning of our dating experience. He had much promise, until I visited him at the home that he shared with his mothered.

The first problem occurred when I walked into the house, saw the stuffed animals, and he started talking to them. Yes, he talking to each of them while using their names. A grown man, may I add.

The second problem started when he explained to me how much he enjoyed killing outdoor rodents (squirrels, possums, etc) because he knew some great recipes. Oh, really? [Note to myself...do not eat in this house].

The final problem started when his mom called for him. All I can say is that I have never heard a man cuss at his mother in the manner in which he cussed at his. He first yelled at her for speaking to him while I was there. He then commenced to cussing at her and calling her names. The nail that broke the camels back was when he threatened to take her cane from her so that she would not be able to get around the house.

CRAZY! All craziness. Luckily, I left the house alive and never returned.