The Dating Chronicles of Cheré (Ch.10): Mr. Hobby

One person's hobby is another person's addiction. But there are some people out there who are unaware of the difference between a hobby and an addition.

One day I was eating at a restaurant and a waitress handed me a business card sent from another patron. At first I thought that the gesture was flattering and respectful. I say respectful because I was eating with colleagues and I do not deem it appropriate to approach me when I'm out with colleagues. I only say this because you don't want everyone in your business with regards to whom you are dating.

With that being said, the business card was handed to me and the guy passed by a couple of times to let me visibily see who he was. Okay...I had a visual and he appeared to be well-kept. I called him that day to acknowledge that I received the card, and we spoke for a few minutes. He had to call me back, but I didn't hear back from him until the next day.

I did notice that on the next day he was careful to call me before 6pm. I missed his call and called back, but received no answer. This happened again the following day, and he then began to text me but not call after 6pm. WARNING SIGN #1: HE MIGHT BE IN A RELATIONSHIP.

We finally stopped playing phone tag and set up a lunch date. We met at a fast food restaurant, which was a slight problem because this was somewhat of a date. So, the intimacy of the date was lost due to the lunch crowd. I ignored this issue because I had a feeling others would quickly present themselves.

As we ate, he started to talk about his job and how he has been impacted by the economy. When then talked about ourselves. He asked me what my hobbies were. I quickly replied that enjoy shopping, dancing, trying new things, writing, etc. I then asked him about his hobbies, and he replied that he enjoys spending time on the Internet. At first, I didn't understand how that was considered a hobby because he was not clear about what he was doing online. Does he sell items on eBay as a hobby? Does he collect items? Does he collect music? What does he blog? What does he do online to make it a hobby?

Well, he quickly clarified that he enjoys porn. Really?! I just did not know that looking at pornography online was considered to be a hobby rather than an addiction (depending on how often you look at it). Now, I know that there are men out there who enjoy an occasional boob or dirty image on some porn sites. Some women enjoy it too. However, this guy explained to me that he spent countless hours online enjoying his porn. That's one of those things that you don't really tell a person on the first date, but that shows how important it was to him. WARNING SIGN #2: HE DOESN'T REALIZE HE'S ADDICTED TO PORN.

I understand why he told me these things on the first date, because he was prepping me for his expectations. He explained that he is utterly amazed at what porn stars are capable of and that he would like that in a relationship. Good, but why are we discussing this on a first date in a fast food joint.

Next, I asked him what his other hobbies are. He replied that his only other hobby was being around "several" beautiful women. Then he began to give me a nasty look...as in sexually nasty. Great. WARNING SIGN #3: DUDE IS POSSIBLY A WOMANIZER.

Finally, we started to discuss more personal information. Once you've discussed porn for 15 minutes, the relationship is pretty much open. So, he went on to explain that he had 3 kids who were ages 5, 7, and 9, and all were by the same woman. WARNING SIGN #4: DUDE IS MARRIED. I then asked where the mother is, and he explained..."Oh....I live with my babies' mama. We have been having issues, and I'm moving on."

At this point, I reached clarity. I was done with my food, so I could now leave knowing what I knew about this guy:

A. YOU ARE ADDICTED TO PORN
B. YOU ARE A WOMANIZER
C. YOU ARE MARRIED!!! My name is not Boo Boo The Fool, so just because you call a woman your babies' mama does not mean I do not realize that you are married. What in the world?!?!?!?!?! You have a planned family. You live with a woman who is your wife but you won't admit it. Even if she is not your wife, I consider you common law at this point because your oldest child with her is 9 which means you have been together for at least 10 years. If you are so broken up and not married, why can't you call me past 6pm? Exactly!!! YOU ARE MARRIED. NO THANK YOU. In addition, you are addicted to porn and a womanizer. Plain and simple foolishness yet again. But at least I got a free meal and a new story. The price I pay to please you people with this blog.