The Dating Chronicles of Cheré (Ch.12): CSI

Okay, okay. I know. I have the power to make good decisions, but I just like to laugh. So, sometimes I have to take one for the team. I should have learned a while ago not to let people blindly hook me up with friends, but I just can't. Blind dates and setup relationships are what give me my funniest stories.

I trust my friends, sometimes too much. I allowed the same friend who set me up with My Funny Valentine to set me up again. This time the guy was a lot worse. I met this guy when it was cool to have a phone relationship and nothing more. Today, I still do not know what this guy looks like because I never met him in person. We spoke everyday on the phone for a month but never had a chance to meet.

It all started when my friend called me on the phone 3-way with my blind phone date. We all talked and joked for a few minutes. He and I then exchanged numbers. He called me later and we talked for a while. This went on for a few weeks smoothly, then one day my father started to listen in on my calls with him. When I found this out, the rebellious teenager came out of me and I talked to the guy more often.

During one conversation he commented that I probably smelled like strawberries. Though he never met me, he somehow just knew that I smelled like strawberries. I didn't really know what that meant at the time, but I was flattered nevertheless. Sadly, my father understood his comment and was on the phone listening to the comment in real time. How horrible!!! I was so embarrassed that my father had heard this guy talking to me intimately, but I was angry. So I kept talking to the guy until.....

One day I received a call from an investigator. The investigator was really vague at first. She first said that my phone boyfriend was in an accident and I was the last call on his cell phone. I immediately got worried and asked how he was. She didn't really answer. Instead she kept asking me questions. She asked me if I had seen him that day and if he had a gun. I had never seen him so I quickly said "no". She then asked if I knew of his whereabouts. "?" Didn't you just tell me that he was in an accident and was injured? How do you not know where he is?

I was confused and there were more questions. I explained that I only knew him over the phone. I had never met him, and that I don't know what could have happened. She then explained that he had just committed a crime, fled the scene and left his phone there. Now that was hilarious, and that was time I dealt with him. He called a few times but there was no need to answer. I was young, but I did know that being affiliated with criminals is not good.